Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The first one.

Well, we've had two babies! We had started to think that this would never happen.
It all started in the beginning of
August of 2010 when, after multiple rounds of fertility drugs, my OB/GYN informed me that testing showed that I would not be able to conceive naturally. My only hope would be IVF or more rounds of fertility drugs. Michael and I had talked about continuing to use help to conceive and had come to the conclusion that if God did not want this for our family, why force it? I had prayed so many times for God to please not let me be infertile, and that I would take great care of any child he would give us. But all hope was gone on the day my doc gave me the bad news.
Driving home from the appointment, I called and unloaded the news on Michael. Although I tried my hardest to stay collected, I couldn't help but cry. Michael knew how much we had wanted this, and he reminded me that maybe God had something else planned for our lives. Needless to say that I found it very difficult to get any sleep that night.
As soon as we got married in August of 2003, I started getting birth control shots known as Depo Provera. I received one shot every three months, and this totally took away my periods. I stopped the shots in May of 2008 because it usually takes a year or so for everything to get back to normal. The plan was that by the time my body was ready, I would be graduated from Nursing school. I had planned to be pregnant hopefully by the end of school, and then start our little family right away, however, my period didn't come back that year. So, we waited... and waited.
A couple of weeks before my appointment, our pastor had invited Michael and I to go for a hike. This was one of the most grueling hikes I had ever been on! During the vigorous hike, I had felt some cramping in my lower abdominal region, but I figured it was because of the incredibly strenuous and horrific climb. The next day, the cramping continued. I started to think that maybe I was going to get my period back but unfortunately, the cramping stopped just as suddenly as it had appeared. 
By the end of August, Michael and I had our best to get on with our lives. We had found a house in the country that we were in the process of buying, and we were busy with all the exciting plans of what we were going to do with the new place. One Saturday morning, I awoke feeling very strange. Michael must have noticed and asked me if I felt like going to church. Honestly, I really didn't. What I wanted to do was to either stay in bed and sleep all day, or go to the zoo and take pictures. We decided on the latter and headed off. We had a great morning looking at all the animals and taking amazing shots. I was still feeling very strange, a little dizzy and very tired. By mid-afternoon, we were on our way home and decided to detour and go to OMSI before heading home. There was a reptile exhibit that we really wanted to see, as well as an Einstein exhibit. Although I was beginning to feel even more dizzy and tired, we went on in and enjoyed looking at all the reptiles. By the time we started in on the Einstein exhibit, I felt completely worn out. I told Michael that if I didn't find a place to sit soon, I was going to throw up! I collapsed onto a bench that was nearby. Michael suggested that we go home. I felt terrible because we had just paid for the entrance fee (which was not cheap), and we had not even seen a quarter of the exhibit. He didn't care. He helped me up and we left. I slept the entire car ride home.
The next morning, Sunday, we got up and got the dogs ready for our weekly Sunday morning walk with some friends. I was still feeling funny even though I had had a good night's rest. I was walking along and explaining to one of my friends how I had felt the day before and how strange it all was. She asked me if I could possibly be pregnant. I, of course, thought that was silly considering what my doctor had told me, and that I had not gotten my period back, and that it couldn't happen. That was the end of that. I figured that maybe I might have caught a bug and was starting to develop symptoms. Perhaps I was getting the flu or a very bad cold. However, I had never felt so strange in all my life.
We finished our walk, went out for breakfast, but I still had a weird sensation all over, and was still very tired. Michael and I decided to make a quick trip to Walmart before heading home with the dogs. I threw a five-pack of pregnancy test in the cart even though I knew I wasn't pregnant.
I had to pee as soon as we got home. I took the box of tests with me so that I could put them away since I was going to be in the bathroom anyway. It was a little curiosity and a little paranoia that made me decide to open up a test and confirm to myself, that I was not pregnant. I wanted to make sure that I was, in fact, sick with something else. After peeing on the stick, I had a strong feeling to pick it up and throw it away before waiting for the result. I had gone through this same process so many times only to read 'Not pregnant' on the display. I went back and forth in my head not knowing what to do. Should I look and be disappointed again? Or should I toss the test and shrug off the silliness of it all? I can't get pregnant anyway! My doctor told me so! I decided to throw it away, but maybe take a quick peek at the result before pitching it. I looked down at it.... What? My mind began to race: "There's one word...there's only one word! There SHOULD be two! But there's only one! There's only one word on there! That's my stick! I know it is, because I peed on it! There's only one and it's mine! That's my word! Oh my gosh! I'M PREGNANT!!!" I couldn't believe it! I began to hyperventilate as there was nothing else my body could do at the moment. I started to make my way to where Michael was, but he had heard my insane breathing and we met each other halfway. He looked at me, "Are you okay?!" All I could do was show him the test and in complete overwhelming joy and relief said, "Baby! I'm pregnant!!"
We spent the next twenty minutes on our knees, in the hallway, praising the Lord. Michael prayed first, then I managed a few words myself, both thankful for what was soon to come.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Time goes by...

Where does the time go? I find that there doesn't seem to be enough in a day for me to do everything that I want. And yet, I find enough time in a day to be able to watch my favorite shows and sit around. My husband once told me that I should write down everything that I do in a day so that I can see where I am wasting my time. Uh...I don't think so. It takes time to sit and write about my time, so i'd be wasting my time.  Let me just say that he didn't enjoy my answer as much as I did.
I am trying to get better at my daily schedule so that I can fit my hobbies in as much as possible. Finding time is getting more difficult, however, because the kids seem to be growing and gaining new abilities by the minute! My baby girl decided to stand up yesterday and walk herself along the baby gate! And my boy decided he wanted to climb onto the coffee table and tell the whole world what he just did! So, amid the new events happening constantly around the house, I do my best to get other things done. Such things like cleaning, cooking, drinking water and... going to the bathroom. Thankfully, I do get a two hour block in the afternoons to do an hour of exercise followed by an hour of deep cleaning or sewing. Before I know it, the kids are awake again and hungry. I did decide to lessen my menu stress by creating a weekly meal plan. So far (two days worth), it's been working out. I do have small moments of panic right after buckling my son in his booster seat thinking, 'What am I gonna feed this guy???!!!!' followed by a welcomed moment of peace when I look at the plan on the refrigerator door. That really is a time saver. It also helped that my husband watched the kids while I cooked up a storm on Sunday. Having foods ready to reheat when I need them has been a real life saver. 
I realize that after all I've done so far to save time in order to do other things that I really want to do, I have yet to mention any time spent alone with God. Time spent praying is something that I don't keep on my 'log' of time spent. Praying is something that I do constantly throughout my day. No matter what my feelings are throughout my day, I am forever thankful and grateful to Him who makes my life and the lives around me possible. I say this because about two and a half years ago, I was told that conceiving would not be in my future. Thankfully, the Lord had plans already in the making for us. And as the time passes by, I watch my two babies growing and developing more and more everyday. I guess I really need to make sure that I take advantage of every moment that is given to me. So even if there doesn't seem to be enough hours in my day, I remember that every second is precious.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Little voices outside my head

What a day. I'm hoping that the occasional ear-piercing screeches my baby girl unleashes will someday become a beautiful singing voice. But for now, I've almost decided to walk around the house with earplugs in. Wouldn't it be awesome if Micah also ended up with a beautiful voice? That would just be the best! I sing to my babies everyday and I noticed a few months back that Micah can hold a tune. He's got great pitch! Until they're both able to really sing something, i'll have to keep hope that their screams and blood curdling squeals of delight will all be for good... someday.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Music of life...

There's something that has to be said about the true impact of music. Music can make us feel an infinite variety of emotions. What music is going through your mind right now?
Over the past couple of days, I've taken a break from watching my favorite TV shows while cycling in my back porch in order to see if listening to music would help me work harder and faster. I noticed that while improving considerably on my cadence, music like Coolio's Gangsters Paradise didn't give me a great aftertaste in my mood when I was done. I opted out of that on today's ride, and instead I listened to a playlist of christian music I created on You Tube. I had the same improved result in cadence as yesterday's ride, however, my mood/feelings during the ride went into deeper thoughts as I listened and followed along with the lyrics.
Having always had music of some sort going through my mind through all my years, I've come to realize in the past  year or so that the genre of music I listen to can have a significant impact on the result of my day. My attitude can be changed amazingly just by listening to songs like 'Bring the Rain' by Mercy Me as opposed to songs like 'Superman' by Five for Fighting. And after following along with the lyrics for 'Superman' on my ride yesterday, I found that that song to be severely depressive! I used to "sing" along with songs like that even though I didn't know the lyrics most of the time. The tunes might have been really catchy, but what was I singing along to?? It makes me wonder what the world would be like if gangsters would listen to music like 'What a Friend We Have In Jesus'? LOL!
Although we are not on this earth to convert anyone, what kind of example of Jesus are we showing by the music we listen to, and by the music we WANT people to listen to? Just a thought...

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Hello again!

Sitting here at my kitchen table with my now 2 year old son listening to him as he sings to his lunch. I'm slowly sipping at my coffee, and thinking about how incredibly blessed I have been through my life. I have lived through so many events in my life that have molded and shaped me. I am so very thankful to my forever merciful heavenly Father for guiding me through all the hard times, and celebrating with me through all the happy times.
I find it hard to believe that I am turning 30 this year. Have I really lived that long? I know I've told many people this same thing, but when I was very little I would think that Jesus was going to come back before I turned twenty. Well, twenty came and went and I am still patiently waiting (sometimes impatiently).
Well, I'll write more again tomorrow. But that's all I have time for today.

The above picture was taken on Micah's birthday this year.